End of adventure

The terrible thing about blogs is having to keep up with them XD
So approaching the end of my time in Scotland and I couldn't be sadder. Finally hit me as I packed up my suitcase and rearranged my room that my time here has come to an end. For how long it took me to get here, I must say this entire visit was seriously anti-climatic. I found nothing, no answers to a memory, no possible person responsible for the longing feeling and although upon landing it felt like home, just being here feels no different than being back in America. I'm sort of left scratching my head and going um why was I so adamant about coming here again? I see no path leading forward to something else that will take such single minded focus as coming here generated. Instead I'm sort of left feeling hollow and unmotivated. I suppose then that begs the question, why so sad then? Well a part of me is hugely relieved to be getting out of here, mostly because it's a long time to go budgeting money over four or five months and I don't have to do so much math! Stupid exchange rates. However, I am sad because living off campus has created a unique situation of feeling as if I've established myself and set down roots here. As chaotic as my time here has been, it's also been a great adventure. I love waking up and being able to see either a castle or a monument erected somewhere, I'll even miss these creepy old cemeteries that are sometimes in people's back yards. I want to explore so much more and scour the landscape. So of course I'll be back most definitely. Learning the history of the land has helped too by taking social policy. Horrible that I was able to speak about the subject and retain the information, but writing the essay slayed me. Ah well, It's back stateside in six days. I sort of don't know what to do with myself. Maybe watch a few dozen movies or so. My first adventure abroad was successful and although the crowning achievement won't happen, I'll get to walk away with great pics and great memories.